Push Forever: Chapter Two

 

Day after day, Maruki ate lunch with Jikan in the music room. Though they rarely spoke, it was nice to know that there was someone there to eat with. It was not like the past at all, him and Aiya would talk all the time, they always had something to talk about. They would even cook for each other, to see if the other liked it. Now with no contact with him, and knowing Jikan was not him, Maruki learned to accept the silence.  Even though only months into school, living without his best friend was getting easier, now that he was settled into his classes. Every day at school academically was easy as well, getting straight fives once again and top marks in classes like PE, Maruki was just as he was at his old school. At home was a different story. Every night Maruki would wake up in a cold sweat and tears drenching his face from the same nightmare that haunted his dreams.

~ At a café under Tokyo Tower, overlooking a park sat Maruki waiting for Aiya whom wanted to meet with him. With a small white cake and a cup of hot chocolate in front of him, a small tap was felt on his shoulder taking his gaze from the table to the perpetrator.

“Ah, Ai chan. You’re here. What did you want to talk to me about?” Maruki's sweet, happy voice, the one only reserved for Aiya rang beautifully to Aiya. A sad, solemn expression was washed over Aiya’s naturally sweet, beautiful face. “Aiya what’s the matter?” Instinctually Maruki felt worry for Aiya, he never held an expression like that when he was around him, only when something was completely wrong.

Taking the only seat across from Maruki, Aiya remained silent for a moment. He lifted his swollen, puffy eyes to meet Maruki’s, only to be torn away again. He couldn't look at him as he confessed.

“Maruki. I, I decided I cannot be your friend anymore.” A sudden feeling of heartbreak ripped through Maruki’s chest in hearing Aiya’s quivering voice. a friendship, through good times and bad, only to come to a sudden stop like this, with no reasoning or explanation whatsoever after so many years. “I love you Maruki kun, I cant be around you anymore knowing that you don't feel the same way I do.” Kun, in their many years of being friends, he has never called Maruki by that.

Suddenly jolting to his feet, Maruki stood and bowed deeply to Aiya, not knowing what else he could do.
“Ai chan, why so sudden? What did I do wrong?” Holding his position strong, hoping to be forgiven for anything he has done wrong, he felt a soft hand reach for his cheek. He rose slowly, wide coffee eyes meeting Aiya’s again slowly.

Aiya’s beautiful eyes blinked slowly, a single tear rolling down his soft cheek.

“I’m sorry Maruki. I have to go.” Those sad doe eyes closed tightly, holding back any more tears. Letting go of his only friend’s cheek, Aiya turned and ran away quickly.

Still in sight, even through welling eyes, Maruki could see his only friend running away. Though it was only an image, it felt real to see the world fogged and blurry, and they were the only two in the world. Time seemed to slow down as he chased after his friend, bordering visions were blurred, all but what Maruki focused on, Aiya. Screaming after him down the street, Maruki chased his friend down the street quickly. Approaching one of the dangerous intersections around Tokyo Tower, Maruki screamed even louder for him to stop, hurt and scarce in his quivering voice. in a deep pit of sadness, Aiya would not listen to him, he continued to run, prying himself from his only means to live. Wiping his flooded eyes of his tears with his forearm, he mistakenly took his vision away at the wrong moment. Aiya had begun to run across the crosswalk, as it was turning red. A stray car with a driver whom was distracted by his cell phone had run that red light.

Still chasing after Aiya even into the street, Maruki reached out for his hand, only to miss it by inches. The sudden thud in the blink of an eye pried Aiya’s final touch from Maruki’s reach. The traffic had all stopped, the driver that hit Aiya screeched off into the opposing lane, shocked and afraid. Maruki’s already widened eyes, widened more. Those glassed coffee eyes seemed to pop out of their sockets. Maruki’s frozen body seemed to move only to look over at Aiya. A now lifeless, twisted body lay in the middle of the road, a crimson liquid pouring our from underneath, staining the concrete. ~

In a panicked state, jolting up from his pillow, Maruki panted heavily. A mixture of cold sweat and tears rolled down his flushed face. The young boy grabbed his chest, which had a great, tight feeling of heart break in it. He slowly lowered his stiffened shoulders, trying to catch his breath. There was a strange aura around that dream, it almost felt real it always worried Maruki afterwards.

Still in his shocked, saddened state, Maruki threw the blankets off himself and stumbled over to his desk. Rummaging through the top draw, Maruki searched blindly for his cell phone. The small device groped his fingertips, causing him to pick it up. Turning on the cell phone, his heart beat in his chest loudly, almost painfully. With an array of hope in his eyes, Maruki waited impatiently for it to load.

“Hurry up!” he stressfully threw his cell against the wall where his bed sat. the small device came to a soft landing after the violent impact with the wall. “No, no, no.” after regretting having used violence on his only hope, the boy dove after the device that now dimly lit the wall with its small LCD Screen. He cradled the phone in his palms, searching through it’s memory, or lack of memory for Aiya’s home phone number.

A small quivering lip was pulled between his teeth to prevent himself from crying. The contact list was still empty and the photos of him and Aiya were still missing.

“I just want to know that you are all right.” The young boy whispered to himself, which was forced over a hard lump in his throat.

There was a small thud on the thin carpet under Maruki’s feet. Bouncing away then coming to a complete stop on the soft mat, the phone took its spot to rest for the night on the floor. The dim light slowly died down to a black screen. Small moist palms slapped against the boys head, cradling it as his closed eyes clenched tighter. Small crystal drops descended to the floor, glistening in the light of the night.

As well as being exhausted, the young boy was not stressed. This being his second time breaking down since he left Tokyo, he was able to control himself more. He threw himself back, returning to the warm womb of his bed.

“Aiya…” the boy buried his in a bundle of down feather, silently sobbing to himself. Though most would never see it, Maruki was very emotional.

A loud beep rose Maruki from his slumber. Having cried himself back to sleep, he found himself in the middle of his bed, cocooned in the deep down feather. The boy sprawled and stretched, slapping the snooze button on his alarm. He groaned quietly and crawled out of bed.

Though it didn't seem it, Maruki took an almost half hour long shower, leaving him only minutes to catch the bus for school. Scrambling throughout the house, gathering his supplies and books, the sloppily dressed boy darted out of the house and down the street to the public transit stop.

There were the regular commuters standing outside the bus shelter. The older gentleman and his wife, a senior high school student with long black hair and thick make up, a business woman in an uptight business suit, and someone he has never seen before. Although still in thought about the person he has never seen before, Maruki was relieved that he had not missed the bus. Coming closer to the small crowd, the mysterious person turned and looked up at Maruki. Slowing his job, Maruki’s wide eyes narrowed at the person, trying to register in his half asleep brain if that's whom he thought it was.

“Jikan?” A small yet bright smile answered his question. “What are you doing here? Don't you live that way?” A small slender finger rose and pointed off to the right.

Jikan nodded happily, hopping to Maruki, taking his school bag with both hands, holding it innocently in front of him. “Yes but I thought if we went to school together, that it would be more enjoyable.” Jikan seemed to have a personality change over night, or this is just a side of Jikan that Maruki had never paid any attention to. “Do you mind Kaore kun?” Jikan held both school bags in his hands, keeping them safe.

Maruki held a grim look on his face, wondering about Jikan.

“How do you know where I live?” Not recalling ever telling him his address, or even his home phone number for that matter. Pushing that thought away with a shake of his head, Maruki reached out and took his bag back roughly. “No, no its fine. Just this once though, okei?” It was still only a tradition to walk to school with Aiya.

Jikan hopped to Maruki’s side, standing abnormally close to him. Though they have been friends for a few months now, it would take Maruki much longer then that to warm up to Jikan to allow him into his personal space like that. Although happy and cheerful to be around Maruki, Jikan returned to his quiet self, making this wait awkward. Maruki stared off into space across the street, when a tug was felt on his sleeve, he looked over at Jikan silently. The tugging continued, like a child wanting candy. Maruki stared blankly at Jikan who was hysterically pointing down the road at the bus that down the small hill to where they all stood. A small sarcastic smile grew on Maruki’s lips to humor Jikan. The bus was a little more crowded than usual. Instead of his usual seat across from the back door, Maruki had to stand in the middle. Uncomfortably, Jikan stood behind Maruki, hands on the bars around him. It was as if he was protecting him, not from danger, but from others touching him.

Stepping more into his invisible box, huddling away so Jikan wouldn't touch him, Maruki ducked his head down, almost sadly. Because of this, the commute seemed longer today, once it ended, Maruki pushed Jikan away, rushing off the bus. Jikan showed hurt on his face as he followed Maruki, but put on a smile instead.

“Are you excited for Physical Education first thing Kaore kun?” Wanting to make conversation with Maruki, only to hear him talk, Jikan persisted down the street like a puppy, following Maruki.

Coming up to the pedestrian crossing bridge they walked under everyday, the shorter boy made a small noise in sarcastic agreement just to keep the Puppy-boy happy. After having his dream again the night before, Maruki was not in a good mood. Dragging himself down the street with concrete shoes, Maruki tried his best to ignore Jikan for the time being.

Down the street, from the direction of their school, came running a cute Pomeranian puppy, its leash trailing behind him, bouncing every which way. The puppy’s cute fur bounced in healthy shiny bundles as it ran through the crowds. Catching Maruki’s attention, Maruki decided to catch it, hoping its owner would return soon. With precise timing, Maruki stomped his foot down on the soft leash, stopping the puppy in its tracks. Those sweet coffee eyes lit up once again. He bent down once he had a good grasp on its restraints and pet gently behind its ear.

“You are a naughty one aren’t you?” The puppy had Maruki’s feelings cheered instantly, it showed greatly in his bright glassed eyes.

In a split second, Maruki was pulled roughly to his feet, the leash snatched from his hand roughly, causing friction burn to his sensitive flesh. In a wince of pain, Maruki’s lips parted with a little quiver.

“What are you doing? That thing could be dangerous.” Jikan barged in, right into Maruki’s happy moment. With the leash in one hand, and Maruki’s small forearm in the other, he was determined to keep Maruki out of possible danger.

His hand still stinging, being cradled difficultly in his other palm, Maruki burst out angrily. Ripping his arm from Jikan's, Maruki stepped away from him.

“What the hell are you doing? I was only petting it!” Maruki paused, straightening his blazer. “Besides, since when is my business your problem?” There was obvious anger in his voice. to him, if it didn't involve someone, they should never butt into a situation. He gave Jikan an annoyed, disapproving look before walking away angrily.

Jikan stood staring at Maruki as he walked away, all he was doing was trying to protect him from possible injury. Brushing that aside, he jumped happily, and grinned cutely.
“Maa chan! Come on! Don't be angry.”

Still holding his hand, that was now red from pain, Maruki walked swiftly, trying to ignore his friend. His new friend made the mistake of calling after him again with the nickname again.

“Look Jikan! I like you! But never call me that again!” this time anger showed on his cute face as he spun on his toes to shout at Jikan. Still away from Aiya, even if it had been a half a year, he was still the only one allowed to give him nicknames.

Not saying another word in order to not upset Maruki further, the taller boy joined his side and walked in silence. They got to the school grounds with seconds to spare. The bell rang and the two darted off to the gymnasium after slipping on their indoor shoes.

The gym’s change room was full, but to Maruki it was no inconvenience for he always changed in the bathroom stalls of the change room. It was a subconscious, self-consciousness he had about his appearance. Not ever being the popular kid, he was always tight knit about himself. Hugging his gym bag close to chest, he darted into the stall, closing it quickly. The same white t-shirt and mid-thigh length blue shorts on top of a pair of white sneakers were neatly folded in the small black, stringed bag.

Maruki never liked gym, even if his marks were perfect, his self-consciousness made him dislike it. After all his classmates left to gather in the field, he exited the stall, knees tight, shoulders narrowed, overall he looked nervous. Avoiding Jikan as long as he could, Maruki jogged out to the field to join the teacher’s huddle circle. Jikan was on the other side of the circle, waving at him, trying to catch his attention. Ignoring as best he could, Maruki’s attention remained on the teacher. Despite his attempts of ignoring him, they were futile. Jikan darted around the outside of the circle to Maruki’s side.

“Now everyone. Today is a teamwork assignment. Our sport for today is football.” Being senior Junior High School students, all have heard of the American sport, but never played it. Having watched it on TV, they as a whole were excited to play. “We will be split into four equal groups, two will be each on Team A and Team B. we will be switching to the next group as soon as one group makes a goal.” The teacher further explained the rules of this foreign game to the entire class of 32 students.

After being split into small groups of eight, Maruki, Jikan and a sport jockey in their homeroom class Shiya were all on the same team. Accompanied by two more boys and three girly girls, they all formed one team. To the jock’s misfortune, all his friends were on their opposing team. The jock that tried getting Maruki into his soccer team ever since he started school there, stared at him as he moved to his quarter.

The game started, Maruki and Jikan were on the sidelines waiting for their team to go up. Finally their Team A scored a goal and there were up next, against Shiya’s Jock friends. Ignoring him still, Maruki was followed onto the field like a puppy.

“Kaore are you going to make the first goal?” Jikan playfully hopped up, using Maruki’s shoulders to push himself up. Still ignoring him, Maruki took his position on the field away from Jikan.

In moments the game got started, there was no surprise that Shiya was the first with the ball. Being his quiet self, Maruki stood off to the side, close to the line. It didn't take long for the game to come his way, the ball was feet from him. With no warning or call, the ball was thrown to Maruki, who stood dumbstruck, not knowing what to do. Shiya’s friends, who were bigger and brawnier came straight for Maruki, tackling him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him.

Off on the other side of the frozen crowd stood a frozen Jikan. For someone that was Fumi’s size to tackle someone Maruki’s size so roughly was uncalled for in the game. Laying flat on his back, eyes slit open he was still able to see the bright blue sky above him. His parted, full lips heaved as his chest rose and dropped slowly. Being such a closed person and never involving himself in sports, Maruki had never encountered such a hit before. A small hand pressed to his chest, trying to relieve some of the pressurized pain gently.

Jaw to the grass, eyes glaring at Fumi, Jikan finally broke through his frozen ice block and shoved his way through the crowd that stared down at Maruki.

“Kaore kun! Kaore Kun! Kaore Kun! Are you all right?” An exasperated Jikan darted to his friend’s side, assisting him up. Maruki pushed himself up slowly, a light cough passing his red lips. Still huffing lightly, he looked up to Jikan with lidded eyes, still feeling dizzy. Jikan looked up at Fumi who was laughing to his friends still, a fire in his eyes. “Fumi don't you ever touch my Kaore again!”

That's when it hit him. Jikan was not defending him, he was not being overly kind, he was obsessing over him. His lidded eyes widened at Jikan’s words, he couldn't believe his ears.

“You, you’re Kaore?” He was definitely taken back a little. Maruki was not something that could be owned he was a person. Those sweet coffee eyes that beamed above rose cheeks scanned over the crowd that hovered over him and Jikan.

“Uh, uh. I’m fine!” Maruki sprouted to his feet quickly, brushing himself off. Throughout the crowd of previously worried peers, he could see that they were now judging him. Maruki’s eyes caught the sight of Shiya walking his way, making him cringe a little.

Shiya had an entertained grin on his lips, his black hair pushed to the side for the game.

“You took that hit pretty good Kaore.” Shiya was never one to give lower class classmates the light of day, but knowing Maruki’s hidden greatness in sports, he always tried to take him under his wing. Shiya offered a hand to Maruki to shake. “Please be a member in my sports club.” That hand remained offered to him.

Maruki stared at the hand that was at his chest level, for he was shorter than Shiya his glassed eyes coffee rose to meet Shiya’s almost black eyes, blinking innocently.

“Um, no. I’m sorry Shiya kun. I don't want to be locked into something like that.” He looked back to the offered hand that was not being pulled away, wondering what Shiya was thinking.

Jikan jumped in again, slapping Shiya’s hand away.
“He doesn't want to! And don't touch him like he’s a client! He’s a peer remember that!” Metaphorically, Maruki had a comical gigantic sweat drop fall from his head. Jikan was getting a little out of hand.

Maruki rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassment settled over his face.

“Jikan please.” Looking out at the class, Maruki couldn't help but feel embarrassed due to Jikan. He ruffled his hair and looked back to Shiya. “I’m still going to have to decline.” That was the end of this argument. Maruki gathered the courage and walked away, he had enough of this class.

Back in the hollow, empty change room bathroom, Maruki quickly changed back into his uniform. For the rest of the class he was going to go to the library and study for more important subjects. Back in the plain uniform, and the awkwardly small gym outfit back in it’s bag, Maruki slung it over his shoulder and headed out to the long thin hallway again. Quiet as a mouse, Maruki attempted to sneak out of the gymnasium unseen.

“Kaore kun!” A voice echoes through the small hallway down to him. Maruki glanced back over his shoulder after slowing his step. Seeing who it was, he looked forward again, quickening his pace. The person started in a jog down the hall to catch up to Maruki. “Kaore kun! I just wanted to know if you were all right.” The person followed Maruki down into the main hall of the school.

Maruki remained forward watching his reflection in the clean waxed floor.

“I’m fine Jikan, no just leave me alone.” He spoke with a defeated tone, as if he gave up on something. Jikan felt nothing but guilt, as if it was all his fault. Taking one attempting step forward towards Maruki, he decided to return to class and give him some space. Though it was a painful decision for him, he thought it would be the right one. Though it was not his place either, Jikan decided to have a word with Shiya, hoping he could convince Maruki to join the club.

Through smooth, pink lips, Maruki let out a deep quiet sigh when he got to a quiet cubby in the library. It was always quiet in the library, but this corner in the back was exceptionally quiet. The boys slumped himself into the plastic chair, throwing his head into his palms. His small, soft fingers grabbed bundles of thin strands of black silk. Though a simple haircut he got at a cheap salon, it suited him very well. Silky black bangs off to the side, thin black flips down against the back of his neck, and his cute little ears showing only slightly.

Tightening the grip on his black hair, Maruki attempted to hold back another break down.

“Why do people do this?” mumbling to himself knowing no one else was around to hear his thoughts. He couldn't get Jikan out of his head, he was a stupid boy who always stuck his nose where it didn't belong. Taking a deep breath and letting out slowly, Maruki finally gathered himself again. Quietly clearing his throat, the boy dug in his bag for the English notebook to study future lessons.

Looking through the book, lost in its elementary content, time went by faster then normal. The bell rang for next class to start, startling the focused boy slightly, causing him to look around to see if he was caught jumping. Being safe from strange eyes, he gathered his belongings and darted out of the library to his class, which was on the other side of the school.

“Phew, made it.” The black haired boy mumbled to himself quietly.

Still upset about the football incident, Jikan sat away from Maruki, just for this one class. His eyes darted back to him now and then, just to make sure he was still there nonetheless. It was not a rare incident, but Jikan didn't talk to him the entire class. Math, not Jikan’s favorite subject, paying attention in this class was not something that he was good at, at all. Instead of copying down formulas like the rest of the class was doing from the black board, Jikan drew graffiti and wrote words of nonsense in his notebook.  In his subconscious mind, his hand wrote what he was unaware of as to what he was thinking, Maruki’s name had been written down many times. Looking down at his paper, his dark eyes widened and a deep rose blush grew on his cheeks. The blushing boy slapped his notebook shut, causing the girl in front of him to look back at him. Giving her a quiet snarl, she clicked her tongue in disgust and turned back around again.

Class ended loudly with everyone wanting to leave quickly. As always, Maruki was the last to leave, not caring for being trampled in the halls. Jikan approached his desk as he was bent down organizing his bag. Darting his eyes up only for a moment, only to see a cowering, shy Jikan fiddling with his fingers.

“What is it Jikan?” There was a hint of irritation in his voice, he obviously didn't want anymore incidences today from him.

Stepping back slightly, Jikan rubbed his fingers together roughly, a nervous habit of his.

“I, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I didn't mean to cause a scene last class.” Not only did he embarrass Maruki, but he also made him uncomfortable around him, and he knew that. “And I just wanted to know if you were all right?” Jikan spoke quietly, almost scared of Maruki. Losing Maruki as a friend was not something he could afford to do right now.

Maruki looked up at the nervous boy blankly for a moment before dropping his gaze to finish gathering his things together.
“It’s fine Jikan. Really.” About being all right, he wasn't too sure about. From the hit in the game, he recovered fine, not even a bruise. About being called ‘his’, he was still not entirely sure about. Maruki is a very independent person and never considered himself an item that could be owned and given away. If he considered himself belonging to anyone, it was his mother until he was old enough to move out on his own. Maruki tossed the bag over his shoulder as he stood from his chair. Taking a small glance at Jikan again, his eyes softening slightly. “And I’m fine.” He only spoke to Jikan coldly to protect him. Having lost his best friend before, he was not himself anymore. Being cold towards others, protected him and whatever friends he made from getting hurt again.

Jikan pouted knowing Maruki wasn't telling the truth, but he dropped the subject anyways.

“Are we still going to eat lunch together?” he hoped that Maruki wouldn't ditch him because of first class, he still enjoyed spending time with him, whether he was cold towards him or not.

Running a hand through his hair, grasping it slightly in frustration at the boys persistence, Maruki looked over his shoulder at the pouting boy.

“Yeah sure why not.” Somehow even when angry, he still sounded cool to Jikan. Though Maruki was still upset with him, he wouldn't let it effect their silent time together.  With Maruki in the lead, Jikan following like a hurt puppy as usual, the two left the classroom and headed off to the music room where they still ate lunch together.